abuse | Counselling Insight

Understanding “Hoovering” in Narcissistic Relationships: A Guide to Breaking Free

by Ina Spellings 15/10/202415/10/2024No Comments

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, you may have experienced a confusing pattern of push and pull—intense love-bombing, followed by emotional distance, and then a sudden return just when you’re ready to walk away. This emotional rollercoaster often includes a manipulation tactic known as hoovering. In this …

Emotional Manipulation: Recognising the Signs and Finding Your Strength

by Ina Spellings 19/09/202429/09/2024No Comments

Emotional manipulation is a covert form of control where someone exploits another’s feelings to gain power, influence, or personal advantage. It can happen in various types of relationships—romantic, familial, professional, or friendships—and often leaves the manipulated person feeling confused, anxious, and emotionally drained. Understanding the dynamics of emotional manipulation is the first step toward reclaiming …

Gaslighting

by Ina Spellings 21/02/2022No Comments

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that makes the victim question/doubt their own beliefs and perception of reality. Britannica defines it as ” an elaborate and insidious technique of deception and psychological manipulation, usually practiced by a single deceiver, or “gaslighter,” on a single victim over an extended period”. In time, the victim is unsure of …

Know your worth!

by Ina Spellings 21/06/202121/06/2021No Comments

For as long as I remember, I have been a “Yes” person. You know me well, dear reader; I am the one with my hand up, going “Pick me, pick me!” whilst shacking it so vividly I can almost feel it coming out of my shoulder cap. I have always done more, agreed to more, …

Ghosting-a story of avoidance

by Ina Spellings 14/06/202121/02/2022No Comments

“Wow, he left her on read!” was said loudly and with a strong tone of bewilderment. “What does that mean?” I asked. “It means he read her messages, but never replied. Its literally the worst thing you can do to someone-leave them on read.” I went away and really pondered on this brief finding. Without …